I tried really hard not to write this piece. But then I realised, if people can show off their privilege so freely, then I should be able to question it, just as freely. So, my dear upper class, upper caste, urban resident, duplex house living, big basket grocery ordering, wedding planning in the middle of a pandemic, writing about your anxiety of having to stay indoors and fear of uncertainty FRIENDS, I am abso-fucking-lutely furious about your actions.
I live with anxiety every day, so I cannot stress enough how much mental health is important and how much you should take care of yourself and stay safe emotionally just as much as you should physically. I studied psychology and I understand that everyone reacts to trauma differently - you can deal with it, avoid it, take time, joke, cry, or just not deal with until such a time as it becomes easier to deal with. I am a feminist and I understand that saying someone else has it worse than you does not mean, that you do not have it bad.
So this piece is by no means to guilt you or to tell you that your mental health does not matter. Because it does! This piece is to ask you to stop being an ass in the middle of a global pandemic and a systemic failure of our health care system. I know I am going to lose friends for writing this - but I just hope that you read it through before you decide that I am full of myself and that I don't care about you.
I know that these are scary times. We are sharing our earth with a virus we barely know anything about and a vaccine that is probably going to work but we cannot get it, because of well, capitalism. I know that you are worried about your parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents because I am too! But the truth of the matter is that you and I are sitting in AC rooms and worrying about it. We are eating three or stress eating four meals a day while doing this worrying. God forbid if one of our relatives tests positive, we are going to be able to isolate them at home, get them medical help at home or we might have to beg for oxygen cylinders on the phone. We are going to be able to pay extra for that bed in a private hospital however much of a financial shock it is going to be.
So, can you imagine my anger that you want to be coddled about your privilege, in a time like this? At a time when sons are taking dead mothers on bikes to be cremated? At a time when migrant workers are sleeping on the roads outside railway stations in fear of another lock down? At a time when under privileged people (whose lives you probably cannot ever imagine because you see the world through tinted glasses in your cars and homes) are dying by the thousands because there is absolutely nothing their families are able to do for them? They cannot isolate because 6 people live in one room and they cannot pay for any treatment because they have barely earned enough to eat all last year!
Now, none of this is your fault! You are not responsible for this situation today. You can choose to sit in your rooms and not say a thing about the state of the healthcare system, the economic system, the corruption, the absolute failure of our elected government! I understand even that some of us need to do this to keep our anxiety and helplessness under control. But when you start literally cribbing about how bad things are for you, while all of us are here worrying or trying to do something about the situation in whatever little way, what do you expect us to do?! Pity you for you for your problems?! Coddle you for feeling overwhelmed?! Give you a hug and tell you that things are the worst for you?!
I am sorry, MY FEELINGS are exhausted in dealing with the situation around me, in answering calls asking for oxygen cylinders and in checking up on friends and family who have COVID. My problem is that there is absolutely nothing we can do to hold the government accountable. I feel overwhelmed by the 18 year olds in my life who are verifying if beds are available in hospitals so they can help people. I want to hug my domestic worker and tell her that better days will come and her daughter is not going to end up illiterate like herself.
If you do not want to feel gratitude for your privilege, dont. If you do not want to help, dont. If you want to feel sorry for yourself, do. I have done all of these at times. But do not come out here, claiming that people asking you to be responsible is some kind of a personal attack against you and your privilege or that people saying that you have a better of life than the unemployed homeless woman is somehow robbing you of your mental peace. Privilege does mean that you have some great perks, it means that you do not have the obstacles that some other people have.
Protecting your privilege is not ‘taking care of yourself.’ I am an upper class, upper caste, urban resident, gated community house living, party planning in the middle of a pandemic, writing about my anxiety of having to stay indoors and fear of uncertainty person. But none of this means that I am a victim, neither are you. Asking you to care about the world does not mean that I am asking you to care less about yourself. It's not an either or situation! And by making it that, you are invalidating the work of so many self less frontline workers - giving their everything to literally save the world!
CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE BEFORE RANTING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.
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